


You're Somebody Else

by generalkenobi715



Series: Song Series [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anidala Week, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25603786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalkenobi715/pseuds/generalkenobi715
Summary: She saw the parts of Anakin he’d shown only to her, the pieces of himself he’d so trustingly given.She saw the man she loved, and she saw exactly why she loved him in a way that could never be articulated.But when Padme looked at him now, the light of Mustafar’s flames reflected in eyes that grew wilder by the second, she realized she wasn’t looking at the man she knew.  She wasn’t looking at her husband, the father of her child.This was someone else speaking now.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Song Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855768
Kudos: 10





	You're Somebody Else

Flames roared in Padme’s peripheral, the bubbling of molten rock simply background noise akin to the roar of speeders along Coruscant’s busy streets. The noise that reminded her of nights alone, the light of streetlamps filtering in through the window.

Only this wasn’t Coruscant, and the warmth of their bed was replaced by the glaring heat of the fires around them. Now, instead of holding him in the quiet of the night, she stood surrounded by the most violent of landscapes, looking only at Anakin. 

Her Anakin. Her gaze trained on him, on his movements, on the way he spoke. 

She looked only at the things she knew so well.   
The curl of his hair over the edges of his face, the quirk of his eyebrows as his eyes darted back and forth.   
The gentle curve of his jaw, a line she’d traced so often with her fingers. Where it ran to his lips, the very spot she’d let hers rest so many times.   
The flex of his hands, the same fingertips that had worked absentmindedly through her hair, the ones she’d felt brush up and down her back in the dark.  
The swish of his robe on the ground, one that reminded her of backward glances and averted eyes in a busy hallway or the Senate lobby. Eyes only to be met when completely alone, away from everything else.

She looked only at the body she’d felt on hers, the open arms she’d run towards, the broad chest where she’d rested her head in those moments of comfort or anxiety.  
She heard loving words whispered in the dead of night, remembered the feeling of those lips on her neck. The feeling of love, boundless and unapologetic.

She looked at Anakin, her Anakin, as only she knew him.

When she looked at him, she saw a boy in a workshop that longed for adventure. She saw his lips move, and heard only a small voice - “Are you an angel?”

When she looked at him, she saw the light of a fireplace, a hunger in the eyes of a man who longed to close the space between them just as she did. She felt the press of a desperate kiss, the jolt of movement as the light of an open arena broke them apart. She felt his hand in hers, the breeze of a lake teasing at his hair as two droids stood silently watching.

When she looked at him, she felt the flutter of fear in her chest, the weight of a secret kept alone, the overwhelming wash of relief as tousled hair and tattered boots strode into the Senate building that day. She felt the warmth of his embrace, one she’d waited so long to receive. She saw the sudden furrow of his brow, heard the croak of concern in his voice as he’d held her, sensing the anxious shivers that ran through her in the cold dread of her next words.   
She heard the sound of her own voice, shaky and unsure, followed by utter astonishment in his. She felt the urgency of his hand on her face, the pull of a deep breath. The pause while he processed, and finally, the dawn of reality.  
She saw the smile that lit up his face and the ghost of joyous tears that danced across his gaze as he became fully aware of his child’s existence for the first time.   
She felt the coldness of nights alone and words unsaid met immediately with a wash of warmth and love.

When she looked at him, she saw a man who just days before had held her close in the gentle light of a balcony. She saw a man who had stood silently next to her while she fielded the comments that had been thrown her way for months. A man who for once had foregone verbal defense, who had simply placed a hand on the small of her back, and brought tears to her eyes in the undoubted intention of the wordless “I’m here now.” 

She saw a man whose hand she’d held under hers, finally sharing the feeling of their baby’s kick after months of waiting. She saw a man whose face had turned bright red at the feeling, a man who had turned to her with a gasp on his lips and a smile in his eyes, all the love in the world painted on his face as he’d buried his head in her shoulder.

She saw a man who insisted they were having a girl, a man who’d given her a name. A man who had rested his head next to their baby, reaching out in quiet whispers and the movement of his fingers over her skin when he thought she was asleep.   
She saw a man who deserved more than anything to meet his child, for he’d shown them both enough love in the last few days to make up for months of lost time. 

She saw the parts of him he’d shown only to her, the pieces of himself he’d so trustingly given.  
She saw the man she loved, and she saw exactly why she loved him in a way that could never be articulated.

But when Padme looked at him now, the light of Mustafar’s flames reflected in eyes that grew wilder by the second, she realized she wasn’t looking at the man she knew. She wasn’t looking at her husband, the father of her child. This was someone else speaking now.

When she looked at him, she saw flashes of anger let loose in the day and pangs of fear that escaped with fleeing nightmares. She heard the clatter of tools thrown against the wall, heard the yelling and the cries of pain. She saw the clenching of a gloved fist as a lightsaber was thrown away at the invitation to “fight like a man.” She heard Obi-wan’s voice echoing relentlessly in her head, saw what he’d described as if she was there. She felt her own hand raised protectively over her stomach, and grew horrified of the pit that formed there as she realized exactly who she was instinctively protecting her baby from.   
She saw blood and tears, heard screams and words of warning, felt her chest tighten as if a hand was closing around her heart.

When she looked at him, when she heard what he was saying now, she knew that she was not looking at the Anakin Skywalker she’d fallen in love with, nor was she looking at the father of the child she already loved more than she could’ve ever imagined.  
He looked like Anakin - the same sloping jaw, the same swoop of curly hair. But this was not her husband. Not anymore.

This was someone else entirely. 

Anakin, her Anakin, was slipping through her fingers, warped and twisted by something darker than she could fathom. Taken from her by the overreach of the very same love he’d given in stolen kisses and stroking fingertips. He was afraid, and it had driven him to the brink.  
She’d thought her fear would tear her apart. She’d been wrong.  
His had torn him to the bone.

She looked upon a man who had been ripped to shreds, and whose world was collapsing as a result.  
Their world.

She looked at him, and the reality bloomed like dark tendrils reaching up through her ribcage, threatening to block out the light for good.

She looked at him, and she backed away from a complete stranger.

She looked at him, and she knew that the man she loved was gone.

He was gone, and he’d taken her heart with her. It was out in the lava somewhere, melting away every memory, every loving touch. He’d thrown it away, and dived in headfirst in its wake.

They were gone, and they were never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't written from Padme's POV yet, so this was fun to write out! Thanks for reading :)


End file.
